Release negative thought patterns
Toni Morrison wrote, “Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
We are feeling this quote. We are ready to stop being held back by what holds us down. What about you? Are you ready to fly?
There are all sorts of reasons why we get weighed down: work, grief, pain, something happening in our personal life or on a societal level, self-hatred, the list goes on and on. For today, we're writing about just one of the aspects that brings us down: negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is any unkind commentary that happens in our heads. This is different than feelings.
Feelings—even the ones that we view as negative—are healthy and normal. You get to feel your feelings. Negative self-talk is beating yourself up for having feelings. It's the voice that says you're never good enough, you're so stupid, you'll never get it right. Negative self-talk blocks us from shining as our true selves.
How do we let it go? This can take time. For some of us, that voice has been there for so long that it's almost like an old friend (although what kind of friend is that?). Some of us don't even realize it's there. Some have already started to change it, but it still pops in for a quick visit from time to time.
Here are a three steps to start letting go of any negative self-talk that weighs you down:
Awareness. Start by noticing when negative self-talk arises and work on being a non-judgmental observer. What sparked that voice to come forward? What is the voice saying? Why is it saying these things?
Pause the tape. Once you recognize your negative self-talk, pause the story. Acknowledge the voice and let it know that you're not going to continue saying these things. For example, "I hear this voice telling me I'm not good enough. I'm not going to keep telling that story."
Counter the voice. When you're ready, take pausing to the next level. Rather than simply acknowledging the voice, state that whatever belief is arising is false, and counter it with the truth. This could look like, "I'm so stupid. No, that's not true. I made a mistake. I am not less than for making mistakes. I am a smart person who makes mistakes."
The practice of replacing negative self-talk takes time, and is never perfect. We believe you are worthy of being treated with respect and love.